i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was born a porn star she said
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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