I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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