So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
