Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Life is so much better after having sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
