im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't deserve a penis
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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