Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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