my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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