talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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