Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
