I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
