she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
