You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
