normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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