**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
