my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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