So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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