im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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