I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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