id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I AM VODKA MAN
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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