Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's the barista slut.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
