just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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