This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
