when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize