I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
