im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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