I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
