we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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