He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
