Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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