Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
