I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
