so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
