HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im holly from the hills drunk
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
