why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
