Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am available for nakedness
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
