the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
