im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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