do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
