i was born a porn star she said
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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