Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
