Quick, to the slutcave!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
