holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
