he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
