Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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