I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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