i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
