Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
