this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
