I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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