I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
tell me about the fingering
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
